I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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