turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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