love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
