Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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