sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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