what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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