So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
