she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
