Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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