You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize