I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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