The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
worst night to have a conscience
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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