There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Michael Bay diarrhea
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Randomize
