so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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