doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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