The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
