im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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