You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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