just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
