I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
