i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
