Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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