I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
