dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
