why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
