Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize