My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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