Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
