My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
