The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
