so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
