We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
