It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
