is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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