So drunk, too bad you don't want this
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
