I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
