you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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