Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
