WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
