He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
