if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
