We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
