he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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