We're like a lot better than the average bears
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
