I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize