Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
