Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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