is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
