my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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