he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
