So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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