ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
