I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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