Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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