i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
hell yes lets make some ravioli
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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