So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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