who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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