is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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