I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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