I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
