come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
