Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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